The Emptiness Within

I have run into the darkness;
To see if I could hide.
I have run away from salvation;
I have run from those who would help.

One last dance with the darkness;
And I crossed that line again.
Alone I am a coward;
Afraid of what lives inside.
That line too often found I shame myself every time;
In light of a new day my true friends did appear.

One more then others;
And now he makes me sad.
Not for actions, but for my own.
In my hour of need he was there;
While I cursed him and spurned him my did not care.
He was my savior from my own convictions;
Now I am doublie shamed for both my deed and my actions.

Today was a day to forget;
And now I think more then ever.
There is no one I can speak to;
For the one who'd listen I can not tell this too.
They have given me to much for the wrongs I have thought on them.
Now is a time remember before hatred returns.

Alone I am not;
I know this now.
I need not punish;
I need not suffer.
Hope still exists and more come everyday;
To counsil, to listen, to teach.
Some even come for an odd thing it may seem;
To watch over me as they know I do not over myself.

How can I repay that which has no value?
How can I give back that which was never borrowed?
Here I sit with this delema;
No one to speak with, but myself.
Perhaps one day I will have these answers;
Then I can walk tall for once knowing inside there something worth praising.
Until then I am, but me;
A joke perhaps, but I am trying.
Which is more then I was before.

Brad Campbell
April 20, 2004